On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
