if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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