I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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