That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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