Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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