I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize