I didn't shave. On purpose
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
