If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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