If i come over, it means nothing
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
