I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
