I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize