O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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