New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize