They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
