I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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