My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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