Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
