mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
