That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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