Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
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