The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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