i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I came so hard my ears popped.
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