She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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