i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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