Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
