Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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