you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
