your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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