You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
