3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
