Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
