Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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