You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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