Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
