Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
