Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
