Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
