You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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