Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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