so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
