Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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