He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I understand Curling. That high.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
