either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
