What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
someone owes me an orgasm
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
