Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
