Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
