you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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