Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
