watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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