Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
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I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
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Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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