that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
