so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
