so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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