Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize