he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
