I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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