Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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