Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize