I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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