I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
how drunk are you?
Several
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
