Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize