question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
