They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
