i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Bring me that man meat
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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